I have written previously about my fascination with words; I loved especially how a certain word could truly affect (and/or define) me during some period of time. I absolutely love discovering (or mostly, rediscovering) new words and meanings. One I most remember was when I encountered the word 'elusive' for the first time, through some independent labeled band's album title, 'in search of elusive'. I felt the word truly described me, my name, in a sense; something that one tries so very hard but always failed to grasp, to find, achieve, to remember, but it's there, in the back, the quiet part of their brain. Something that is forgettable but not so much that you forget them truly; something no one could fully comprehend.
And well, these past weeks' word has been this: dangling. It reminded me of this scene: of us riding a motorcycle, around 8 pm after a heavy rain, the damp and coldness hanging thick in the air, passing in front of central park (I know, lame) the skies clear and wide and the darkest blue, like your favorite t-shirt, my feet dangling, almost softly brushing the shimmering reflection of street lights.
Of how much I am a very clingy person, one thing I hoped so much to change, of how dangling means almost essentially the same thing; clinging onto something, but with such effortlessness and carelessness and (almost) calmness.
One of my favorite paragraph on the internet, written by Aldous Huxley, goes like this: "It’s dark because you are trying too hard. Lightly child, lightly. Learn to do everything lightly. Yes, feel lightly even though you’re feeling deeply. Just lightly let things happen and lightly cope with them."
Stop clinging so hard onto life, to another person, to anything. Detach, detach. That's how you cope with reality. Dangle.
I won't get heavy
Don't get heavy
Keep it light and
Keep it moving
I am doing
No harm
As my world
Comes crashing down
I'm dancing
Freaking out
Deaf, dumb, and blind