Friendly reminder

“In fact a mature person does not fall in love, he rises in love. The word ’fall’ is not right. Only immature people fall; they stumble and fall down in love. Somehow they were managing and standing. They cannot manage and they cannot stand – they find a woman and they are gone, they find a man and they are gone. They were always ready to fall on the ground and to creep. They don’t have the backbone, the spine; they don’t have that integrity to stand alone.

A mature person has the integrity to be alone. And when a mature person gives love, he gives without any strings attached to it: he simply gives. And when a mature person gives love, he feels grateful that you have accepted his love, not vice versa. He does not expect you to be thankful for it – no, not at all, he does not even need your thanks. He thanks you for accepting his love. And when two mature persons are in love, one of the greatest paradoxes of life happens, one of the most beautiful phenomena: they are together and yet tremendously alone; they are together so much so that they are almost one. But their oneness does not destroy their individuality, in fact, it enhances it: they become more individual.

Two mature persons in love help each other to become more free. There is no politics involved, no diplomacy, no effort to dominate. How can you dominate the person you love? Just think over it. Domination is a sort of hatred, anger, enmity. How can you think of dominating a person you love? You would love to see the person totally free, independent; you will give him more individuality. That’s why I call it the greatest paradox: they are together so much so that they are almost one, but still in that oneness they are individuals. Their individualities are not effaced – they have become more enhanced. The other has enriched them as far as their freedom is concerned.

Immature people falling in love destroy each other’s freedom, create a bondage, make a prison. Mature persons in love help each other to be free; they help each other to destroy all sorts of bondages. And when love flows with freedom there is beauty. When love flows with dependence there is ugliness.”

- Osho.

Happiness is the truth

Sooo I've been wanting to get rid of this particular piece of mind that bugs me a lot. Recently, I think I might have found the secret of life. Well, not exactly about life, but about two aspects of it that really affects us humans. Of happiness. And also of sadness.

What is happiness, really? How do you explain that feeling? I've been lost for words every time I think about how to describe happy. The only thing I could think of is happiness is an absence of sadness. That goes for sadness too, it's the absence of happiness. It means we can't be happy if sadness doesn't exist right? And we can't be sad if happiness doesn't exist, because the existence of one of them is the reason we acknowledge the existence of another.

I've been on internet since somewhere between 5th and 6th grade elementary school. Back then I was really naive and a huge fan in 'cheerful, uplifting' quotes and/or sad melancholy cheesy quotes. One of the most memorable (and now, disappointing) quote I have ever read in the history of my internet life goes (more or less) like this: "I never wanted a perfect life. Just one that's happy." (actually I just googled that I didn't remember the exact words but I think it was something like that) Well at least since the early years of my life I already knew that perfection doesn't exist (or at least it's not applicable to human) but what upsets me a little bit is that I used to believe in happiness, you know, that at some point in my life I will 'be happy' and I used to think that happiness was a destination, your goal in life, that before you die you will have experienced 'a happy life'. This is my explanation about why so many young, kind people die at such young age, because they have experienced their 'happy' life. I sort of believe that every single person in this world will have a happy life, and after that purpose of their existence is fulfilled, they die.

Well that was a stupid way to think. Wasn't it?

Even now I'm not really sure how I feel about happiness and sadness anymore. Sometimes when something made me happy I can't be genuinely happy, you know. There must be something 'missing', like does my happiness makes other people not happy, or, am I really happy? Do I really want that? Or, what's the point, really, of being happy now when sooner or later you're gonna be sad again? Well yep annoying stuffs like that.

But it doesn't just affect happiness, what's even more annoying is that sometimes when something bad happened I'm not really sad about it, like, I'm sure something good will come out of this, or, well at least you didn't (insert worst case scenario here) or, hey at least this 'saddening' thing makes other people happy, etc etc.

So now after discovering that life is one big series of happiness and sadness and both are inevitable and there's nothing you can do to protect yourself from sadness without also shielding yourself from happiness, what's next?

Nothing. Not happy, not sad, just, plain nothing. In between those two, maybe. 

Well I do hope one day in the future I get to re-read this piece of post again and think 'What a stupid way to think you smartass gtfo the internet.' (which is what I'm going to do right now)

Adieu.